JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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