I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
