someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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