So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
