dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
