I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
