Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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