I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
