So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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