In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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