I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
