It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i now understand why vodka
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize