you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
