i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
