I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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