Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
