so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
