hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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