If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
