I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
