Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
