Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
