So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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