if you like me you must not know who I am
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
