i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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