on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
