Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize