Having a random hookup so left but love u
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
