No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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