she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
