I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
