You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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