You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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