Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize