its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
