Nicole vs. Life
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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