Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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