I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
As shirtless as possible
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
