See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
