no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
