Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
