We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
