Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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