Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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