i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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