I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
