you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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