did you get engaged???
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
