i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
