Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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