that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
