but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
