By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
