My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
