meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't trust your balls anymore.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
