Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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