Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
