why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
